I Am Loved Like That

I watched Pride and Prejudice, (the movie based on the novel by Jane Austin) yesterday, for the first time. I didn’t know the story but I love the innocence and passionate gestures of historical romances. I was engrossed as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy loved each other from afar and pined for each other. I recalled that emotion in myself as a young woman waiting for love.

I didn’t question the impulse to watch it for a second and even third time today! What was the draw? Did I miss something that my subconscious was trying to tell me? Obviously… because as the closing scene played out I looked into the face of Mr. Darcy and saw the tormented adoration there, the love where he would have been will to do anything just to win Elizabeth’s heart. He had done his best to move heaven and earth to make him worthy of her notice and praise. She resisted for so long that she hardly recognized their love for what it was. I found myself looking up from my paperwork and say, “I wish I was loved like that.” Then it hit me.

I fell back on the couch breathless with a big rush of realization. I am loved like that. How many movies did I watch growing up where I wished for love like that. I even wrote it down. I wished for someone to love who loved me back. Someone who would go to the ends of the earth for me. The kind of love that said there was no sacrifice too great, no difference too wide that love can’t cross?

What do you do when you realize you are the heroine in a romantic novel? You cry, that’s what you do. The setting isn’t Jolly Old England, it’s present day and a modern love with modern things to sacrifice and modern problems.

I am blessed to have what I have and I know he loves me cause no one who loved me less would make the changes he’s made for me. We make each other better people. I am loved, and today I was reminded of it very profoundly. Why do I look elsewhere to define what love is when I hold it in my hands? I’ll never doubt it again.

Scorpion